What follows are two texts written for my father, an obituary and a eulogy.

1.
James Pollan Hathcock died Sunday, February 20 of complications from lung cancer. A memorial service will be held at 2 p.m. Thursday, February 24, 2022, at St. Philip’s Episcopal Church with visitation beginning at noon.

He was 71 years old. Born in Cleveland, Mississippi, on June 19, 1950, he was the second son of Charles Tillman and Clara Pollan Hathcock. He graduated from Cleveland High School in 1968 and Delta State College (now Delta State University) in 1972, where he majored in accounting. After graduation, he moved to Jackson with his wife Patricia Holmes Hathcock to play music professionally. A lifelong drummer and singer, he played music full time for most of the 1970s, most notably with the group Lock, Stock & Barrel. He became a Certified Public Accountant in 1980 and earned his Master’s in Business Administration from Mississippi College in 1982. After working several years in the accounting, insurance, and software industries, he and business partner Jim Meadows founded Compensation Insurance Services, an endeavor that braided together these areas of expertise and which still operates today.

Known as “Jim” by his professional peers, “Jimbo” by his friends and family, and “Bobo” by his two grandchildren, he was predeceased by his parents and brother Charles Tillman Hathcock, Jr. He is survived by his wife of 52 years; his son Barrett; daughter-in-law Katie; and two grandchildren, Stella and Carter. In lieu of flowers, memorials can be made to Stewpot Community Services and Habitat for Humanity’s Broadmoor Initiative.

2.
Good afternoon. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Barrett Hathcock. I am Jim’s son. When he asked me to give his eulogy about a week before he died, I initially demurred. Dad, that seems . . . difficult. 

“Oh, you can do it. You’re much more stoical than me. If I were up there, I’d be blubbering like a 7th-grade cheerleader.” 

As you might know, my father could be very persuasive. 

So here I am, endeavoring to give you an idea of what he was like without blubbering. I will now do my best to read from my prepared text without making eye contact with any of you. 

For the first several years of my life I was convinced my father was the tallest man that had ever lived. The years since haven’t totally corrected that impression. He was seemingly always the tallest man in the room, especially if you measure height by the power of a person’s voice, by the force of his personality, by the quality and proliferation of his jokes, his monologues, his sayings, his stories. He was a monument of conversation. He was a mountain of pithy, colorful expressions, most of which I cannot repeat in a house of worship. 

Example: If I had a head a hair like that, I’d be President of the United States. 

It didn’t really occur to me until I was much older and saw him in a professional context that my father was a character — larger than life, and not just to me but in general, like Paul Bunyan, except instead of Babe the Blue Ox, he was often accompanied by a drumset.

This character was known by many names. James, Jim, Jimbo, Bobo. Each name signified a different context, a slightly different neighborhood of peers. He was James P. Hathcock officially — on the checks, on the diplomas. 

Professionally he was mostly known as “Jim.” Perhaps you know that I moved back to Jackson eight years ago to take over the business he started in the early 90s with his partner, Jim Meadows. Working with him brought me a whole new arena of father knowledge. When I began, my learning curve was essentially vertical. It struck me a couple of months into my apprenticeship that my father had fashioned the perfect job for himself. First, he was the boss. Second, and more important, it was essentially an insurance bookkeeping job, a distinct kind of professional animal with its own claws and stripes, which tended to scare away the uninitiated. But the other half of the job, the softer skill, was the need to explain the job, how this particular breed of insurance accounting behaved. And at this he was exceptional. Whenever I describe the intricacies of my job at a dinner party (back when we had dinner parties), I can always sense my conversational partner looking just over my shoulder, scanning for the closest available wine. But my father made residual market pool administration riveting. He made it vital. And he could do it at a moment’s notice. He was like a fine German automobile but instead of going 0 to 60 in 4 seconds, he could go from essentially asleep to full explanatory aria in 4 seconds, and you were entertained. He told the history of the Mississippi Workers Compensation Assigned Risk Pool to more people than I’m likely to ever meet in my life, and they remembered what he said, laughed at his jokes, and were generally grateful for the experience. 

My father had a particular method of stapling paper. It had to do with whether the document was meant to be understood in portrait or landscape, and he stapled the papers so that the staples lined up. He would show you how to do this, and when you didn’t listen and kept stapling in your chaotic, Devil-may-care, English-major way, he would correct you and show you again and illustrate the superiority of his staple-aligning method, and he would keep doing this until you would awake in the early morning hours, sleep disturbed by staple-addled dreams of workpapers left askew, and you would get to work early so that you could make sure it was all just a dream.

When an accountant reviews these stapled workpapers, that person signifies their approval by initialing the upper right corner. So my father’s initials — JPH — were everywhere. But it didn’t mean that he had just “looked” at a spreadsheet. It meant that he had “tied it down.” Without getting too inside baseball on you, you can think of accounting like docking a boat. Every number has to be tied down; a number on one document has to be verified by another document. They must agree. So, much like a boat you don’t want to float off into the reservoir, you have to tie that sucker down, and my father could tie down a workpaper like none other, so that no matter what kind of afternoon storm came along, that boat was not going anywhere. It was verified, it had been thoroughly examined, and he had staked his honor on it, exemplified by his initials. My metaphor breaks down a bit here, because my father generally loathed boats, but you hopefully get my point. He once quipped that he could tell you the journey of every penny that had ever entered the MS Assigned Risk Pool, and he was right. I can show you the workpapers. They are filed neatly in a drawer under his desk, initialed each in the right hand corner. Perhaps his true business name was not “Jim” but JPH, because that was how he communicated I WAS HERE. It was the signal that he had blessed that piece of paper with his fantastically meticulous attention.  

He was Jimbo on the bandstand and to his friends and family. There are so many songs that are inextricable from my father’s voice, songs I know logically, now in my adulthood, were first sung by other performers, but still in my primordial memory they are my father’s songs, first sung by him, only really ever sung by him. 

He played his first gig when he was 15 and kept performing until just this past summer. Though he didn’t spring fully formed from the head of Zeus, he might as well have, so complete and instinctive was his talent. He was asked by a bandmate later in life how he knew what to play, how he knew where to put the emphasis. “Where else would you put it?” was his answer. Like an athlete, he wasn’t particularly good at describing what he was doing, but when the game started, he knew what to do. He loved to perform. He loved to be on stage, so much that he never really left the stage. He was always performing to some degree. He loved having an audience, and they loved him in return. And he loved surfing the wave of that mutual affection that somehow manifests on certain nights halfway through the second set. He would say if you want to be a gigging musician you had to learn to love the feeling of being shot out of a cannon and not knowing where you were going to land. This got abbreviated in later years to the phrase “learn to love the feeling,” uttered when the prospect for onstage chaos reached a boiling point, and he did love that feeling, no longer a discomfort but a sense of ease within chaos — a resilience and flexibility in the face of life’s unknowability. 

The one musical sin that my father could not abide was musical ambivalence, an unwillingness to commit on the part of a performer, any kind of laziness or lack of sweat, a performer just going through the motions. He wanted all performers to exhibit a James Brown-level of devotion, whatever the genre or instrument. He abhorred tentativeness in all matters but especially behind a drumset. 

The highest achievement, as a musician, was to be known as a player among players, to be recognized as a peer by other musicians, even ones who you didn’t regularly play with — especially those. This was the ultimate validation, more permanent than an audience’s fleeting enthusiasm. 

“Who’s on the gig?”

“Don’t worry. He’s a player.” 

I was 13 years old when my father got sober, and he participated in Alcoholics Anonymous for the rest of his life. He talked to me a lot about getting sober and how it had affected him, but congruent with the “anonymous” part, I know little of his AA community. I don’t know what name he went by in AA, whether it be Jim or Jimbo or something entirely different. And that’s as it should be. But I do remember two details. 

When he first got sober he would attend AA meetings on Saturday mornings, this in addition to the daily meetings. All I knew was that he went to AA meetings all the time, which was in itself odd because my father was a committed non-joiner. Anything larger than a quartet was a sport or group that he was uninterested in. But he miraculously became an enthusiastic participant in his sobriety and in AA. And I remember those early Saturday mornings when he would come home singing — joyously strutting through the backdoor, singing for all the life he had left to live, 10:30 on a Saturday morning. I’m still gnawing on breakfast and watching cartoons, and here he is reborn in middle age, unambiguously happy. 

The other AA memory I have is going out somewhere with him, out to eat, running an errand, anywhere, and how he suddenly knew everyone on the planet. He was always sociable, but this was another level. He would cock his head and nod at someone passing by or quickly shake someone’s hand, no conversation, just a mutual recognition. “Who was that?” I’d say. 

“Oh, just someone I know.” 

He was suddenly but forever baptized into a quiet brotherhood spread across the city, a network of sobriety monks who had heard every crazy ass story one could tell, and had told a few themselves, and who had somehow developed biblical levels of patience. I don’t recommend that everyone here become an alcoholic, but I do recommend everyone find a group of recovered drunks that love you as pitilessly and relentlessly as that group loved my father and as he loved them in return. 

To my two children he was known as “Bobo.” It was one of those accidental toddler renamings, courtesy of my daughter Stella. Despite being a talker and having many names, my father didn’t have nicknames. He was not one to be mocked. Only a granddaughter could get away with renaming him Bobo. My father also wasn’t ever goofy, and yet he became so with his grandchildren. Who is this strange person, who used to be my father, now going by a silly nickname, and playing on the floor, and singing to a baby? This is simply how fathers turn into grandfathers. 

No doubt this is an incomplete portrait. I only have a son’s view of the monument. I haven’t told enough stories or I haven’t told the right stories. But trying to describe him to you without taking the next three weeks of your time is like trying to paint the Grand Canyon on a postage stamp, destined to be mostly incomplete. I know you have your own Jimbo stories. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t. So I ask that you go forth and tell those stories. It’s what he would have wanted, and through telling those stories about that unique character also known as my father may he continue to live. 

Thank you for coming.